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World Cup Syndrome

Women of the world unite! The ‘fútbol’ madness and the harm inflicted on your relationship should subside in a matter of weeks. Once every four years isn’t too bad. You are not alone.

World Cup Syndrome (WCS) symptoms to be aware of :
– Complete lack of intelligible conversation from your man during the two matches a day. (That’s an upside of 180 minutes at best that you could be chatting uninterrupted to girlfriends).

– Lack of general manly tasks/motivation/movement either side of ‘half time’.
– Hearing damage: particularly in front-running nations; the fire works, vuvuzelas, and general goooooaal calling are enough to cause permanent damage.
– Wearing of ill fitting shiny satin team outfits that should perhaps be left to sportsmen.
– Your partners physical appearance will wane, a blue and white painted face will never be attractive.
– Add dark circles under the eyes from long hours of indoor viewing and the combination is unlikely to be ‘hot’.
– In extreme cases there have been reports of not leaving the ‘man cave’ for several days at a time, unless beer needs to be restocked.

Common words that might make you feel you are not alone:
Oh, really, you want to go hiking? but Honduras is playing North Korea babe!
It’s on only once every 4 years, I will become productive again after that.
What’s the time babe? Good, only two and a half hours till Spain plays – I can do stuff.

Being in Argentina during the festivities was imagined with much excitement and enthusiasm. I’ve watched it half heartedly over the years. Enjoyed the international atmosphere, the competition, and to be honest the fit soccer players. Visual motivation is required to rise at strange hours of the night and watch a low scoring game after all.

A game that involves faked man tears (yes, you Italy), hammed up falls, plus orchestrated injuries to distract and reduce the oppositions winning momentum. A whole lot of ‘near misses’ does not sound like the kind of event that steals hearts and minds. Unless of course you pay particular attention to those slow motion close up replays (you know what I mean ladies).

After a month in Buenos Aires there have been days that the only movement has involved a 10 minute walk from home to the pub. It’s often rainy, it’s cold. The screen is big. They make a killer potato tortilla and there are people to talk to in that 15 minutes of half time. I’ve probably encouraged the behaviour? (Ladies, this is part of the pattern of WCS – the feeling that it’s all your fault).

I have even started to show signs of developing WCS and not sure I like it – confident that by the time Round 2 begins I will know if the malady has officially set in. Each day at Spanish Class the first 5 minutes are ‘wasted’ discussing points and rankings. Who will go through? Who played dirty? I’ve never been like this! I’ve survived an adolescence in Australia with 3 sisters avoiding the ritual of watching all ball related man games on TV. God help me I’ve even ‘bookmarked’ fifa.com.

The final game on July 11th is coming faster than Cristiano Ronaldo and then everything is going to be alright. Normality will resume. Unless of course Messi doesn’t get to lift the cup, in which case I’ll be stuck with a depressed man in a depressed nation. F word they better win.


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There are 4 Comments to "World Cup Syndrome"

  • cassie vincent says:

    Hello sista, welcome to my world, during footy season in winter and cricket season in the summer. No conversation can be had unless at half time or during commercial breaks, and if their team loses well that`s another story.

  • D&J says:

    More wine, less whine.
    You KNOW you’re going to be one happy lady if they win.
    You KNOW it.

  • sporks says:

    Too true D – but compulsive facetiousness is all I know. And damn it, you’re right!

  • sporks says:

    Well Dwayno, the fact of the matter is Argentina did not win. If there is whine their must be wine! I have a new local team though…La Boca. Onwards and upwards, wish we could all commiserate together Smithies. Please tell the Smithettes that the lovely House drawing Keneisha made is gracing our every morning kitchen space. Very special. x

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